Do you want to know a little secret? Maybe seven secrets?
Every couple has hard days – someone may wake up on the wrong side of the bed, someone may have a hard day at work, someone may not feel well, someone is just easily annoyed with the other person – it happens. AND it is completely normal. But it is how we get out of those hard days that matter. One bad day doesn’t make your whole marriage bad. Today I want to share with you seven secrets to a happy marriage. Just a few things that matter. Just a few things to keep in mind.
1. You are going to disagree – but that isn’t the end.
I remember the first disagreement my husband and I had – we thought the world was literally ending! We quickly learned that as husband and wife – we definitely weren’t going to see eye to eye on EVERY little circumstance. And not only were we not going to see eye to eye, but that was OK! You are going to hit bumps and roadblocks on your journey together, but it is how you get through them that matters. I always just say, “It’s OK if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.”
2. Think before you speak.
I will be the first to tell you that I am a TALKER and I can ramble on and on about anything. When it comes to your spouse, be careful what you say. They have feelings, too, and for some reason, when a comment comes from those we love, we take it to heart much more. “Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them.” – Jefferson Machamer
3. Invest your time, your talents, your heart, and all of your love.
I love the quote, “The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it.” Take care of your marriage. Water it with love. Water it by taking time out of your day to be with your spouse. Water it by saying kind things. Water it by going the extra mile for them. Water it by making them feel good.
4. Have your own hobbies, too.
My husband and I enjoy doing complete opposite things. I love shopping – I could literally do it all day long! I also love writing, going out to dinner, and singing my heart out to the radio. My husband loves to work out, make videos, play the guitar, and shoot some hoops. I used to think we had to be together 24/7 and had to do everything together. BUT that might just drive you a little bonkers. It is not just OK, but is a good thing to have your own hobbies and have things that YOU love to do. Your life doesn’t end when you get married – you just get to have a sidekick and a really awesome cheerleader supporting you. Now be careful. There is a line to be drawn for sure when it comes to this. Be careful to set your priorities, and make family your number one. Too much work or fun can lead to too much independence. There is a balance that needs to be found.
5. If you break it – fix it.
“A relationship is like a house. When a lightbulb burns out you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the lightbulb.” When things get hard – don’t drop your marriage. Work it out. Fix it up. Sometimes it is a LOT harder than changing a simple lightbulb – it may take a lot of work, patience, love, and understanding, maybe even a lot of time, but figure out how to make it work for the two of you.
6. Be the person they fell in love with.
That doesn’t mean you can’t change. We will always change and we should always try to be better every single day. But try to be that person your spouse fell in love with. That person that was excited to see them when they got home from work. That person that loved kissing them and holding their hand. That person that supported them and told them how much they were loved. Always remember, they love you JUST the way you are. “Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” – Martin Luther
7. Don’t stop falling in love.
Find the good in your spouse. Look toward the future. Set goals together. Look into his/her eyes. Say, “I love you,” and mean it. By doing these things, you won’t be able to help but fall in love all over again. Mignon McLaughlin said, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
A happy marriage is possible. I notice in the world today that marriages and the whole family unit is falling apart. I know as we work on our marriages, we will be able to create happier homes for our families, which makes it easier for EVERY day to be the BEST day.